(Photo by Ray+Kelly Photography)
Sometimes when a year draws to a close I am at a loss to pinpoint the one or two defining moments from the seasons before.
Not this year.
2017 was the biggest year I can remember since we moved to the farm. So much has unfolded in the past 12 months - some of it difficult, some of it transformational, and - honestly - much of it both.
2017 was a year of endings, and also of beginnings.
In 2017 we took a break (for the moment anyway) from caring for sheep and goats. This ending was a most difficult decision but felt (and continues to feel) so right to all of us.
Just as we had hoped, it opened up space for us to travel as a family (Ireland!), something we have longed for for ages. We're already planning our 2018 trip, something we wouldn't have done without reprioritizing and making space in our lives for what matters now.
Another ending (of a more modern sort) quietly took place last winter when I deleted my personal Facebook account (best. decision. ever.). There were a variety of reasons that I took this action - if you've ever contemplated it yourself you already know the list - and the space that this created has been expansive. It has been a win for me in terms of my time, available energy, creativity, and general anxiety level. This small change allowed me to take on some exciting projects that may not have come to pass had I been distracted by the constant chatter of social media.
One of those projects very much defined the past six months for me. I can't say more except to promise to share more with you just as soon as I can in 2018! Add to that the three herbal retreats that happened this year, including our parent-child summer camp, and it was a full and rewarding year indeed.
(Photo by Ray+Kelly Photography)
I also quit drinking this year. Though I have always been a moderate drinker, I've been a habitual one as well. Somehow at 44 I felt like it was time to step into the next, healthier incarnation of myself. To model better choices to my kids. To be kinder to my body. To put my dollars where my priorities are.
It's been a couple of months already and as I have settled into this space, it feels like it was the next logical plateau for me to step onto in the healing journey I've been on for more than a decade.
This ending, letting go of my nightly glass or two of wine, was easier than I ever expected, and has opened so many doors to greater health and happiness. I'm thankful I found the courage to do it, and am so grateful to Pete for joining in and supporting me along the way.
And, of course, I said a heartbreaking goodbye to my best guy Charlie this past year. I'm not sure what doors have opened on account of this painful ending, except that for the first time in my adult life I'm finding my way through each day without a dog by my side. That feels strangely okay right now, and that nurturing energy is being channeled into other beings that I love.
(Photo by Ray+Kelly Photography)
In all, 2017 left me feeling optimistic, inspired, and excited for the future, and - yes - more than a little bit exhausted.
Here's to a new chapter beginning in 2018, and the promise that only comes with turning to a fresh page in the calendar.
Love,
Rachel