Clean.

{This Moment}

I'm joining Amanda this week with This Moment. Because oh, my did we have a surprise waiting for us in the barn this morning! (Two actually.)

Feel free to link to your own moment in the comments!

 

Love,
Rachel

In the kitchen: no more rules.

During my forty years (and counting) in this body I've had my share of rules around food.

For nine years I was a strict vegetarian. Strict in a: "Is there a chicken bullion cube in that vat of soup? Then I can't eat it." way. Strict in a never once "cheating" in nine years way, even if it meant missing meals on account of my rules.

Even in Russia. And China. And Europe.

And then my family's journey of healing through food led us down some very different - and very helpful - paths.

(More on that over here.)

Months or years when our family did not eating rice. Corn. Cashews. Almonds. The list goes on and on.

And then I spent one (incredibly healing) year on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet that absolutely changed my life. This was followed years later by more than twelve months as a family on GAPS.

And two years Paleo.

And four years gluten-free.

And during those phases I saw remarkable healing that I'll always be thankful for.

For the children and for myself.

Chronic belly aches - gone. Autistic spectrum behavior - poof. Waking every 20 minutes at night for years on end - over. Eczema - resolved. Tooth decay - stopped.

All of these things. Healed. Through diet alone.

Things that were gnawing away at our health and happiness for months, years, even decades.

Through the simple magic of changing what and how we eat.

Thank you, real food, for healing us from the inside out.

But the rules. Oh, the rules.

I'm sorry, that has sweet potato in it. I can only eat winter squash.

What sweetener is that? I can only have coconut sugar, maple syrup, or honey.

Coconut or almond flour. Your choice!

So many rules.

Frankly, I've had enough.

Sometimes I just want my children to have a normal, healthy - and yes - fearless relationship with food.

And I also want that for myself.

For the first time since childhood.

A relationship where whatever you find on your plate can and will nourish you - body and soul - regardless of the carbohydrate load, presence of grains, or the appearance of an unsoaked/unsprouted pecan. 

I grew up in a pretty healthy home.

Recalling what we ate versus what my friends' ate makes me think my mom should have had a local nutrition show.

We had a garden; my dad hunted; my mom canned.

Cold cereal? Only on Saturdays. Sugared? Never.

We made our own granola and baked our own bread and the whole-grain-with-nuts-and-fruit "cookies" my mom made were viewed with skepticism by my more mainstream friends. (I distinctly remember one neighbor girl saying, "Those aren't cookies. Those are dog treats!")

And yet.

On occasion I'd have one of those "popsicle" sticks that came in the clear plastic sleeve. You know: the corn syrup and food coloring kind.

And I survived.

And on occasion we'd go out to eat. There would be white bread and sugary desserts and fried things.

And I survived.

And sometimes we'd order take out fried rice containing who-knows-what.

And still. I survived.

I remember viewing these foods as a rare and glorious treat - never once with a "will it harm me?" skepticism and fear.

My kids are well educated about how food effects us.

They know why our family eats organic whole foods and avoids grains, gluten, refined sugar, GMOs and food coloring.

They know how they feel when they go crazy on sweets for a few days.

They are learning through the quiet practice of listening to their own bodies. Their own wisdom.

But they have also grown up so far with - in my opinion - too damn many rules about food.

Yes, on account of me.

Because it's easy for me to be black-and-white about things like food, and it's spilled over into how I've parented my kids in the kitchen.

I did that.

And I'm beginning to regret it.

Grains are bad.

Sweets are bad.

Peanuts are bad.

Fruit and nuts and seeds are (almost) bad and should be eaten only as occasional treats.

So many rules. All mine.

And so today?

I'm on a new path. Where food=nourishment.

Where we're educated but we know that a treat of grains or sweets on occasion won't be deadly.

Because more than anything I want us all to feel safe and nourished as we fill our tummies.

Not worried or vulnerable or like we're making ourselves sick.

So no, we're not Paleo anymore. We're not on GAPS.

Sure, almost everything we eat is Paleo or GAPS legal, but I'm done keeping score.

We're avoiding foods that we have known issues with (namely: gluten for Lupine and I, and corn for Sage) and we're eating good, nourishing foods at almost every meal.

(Edited to add: Yes, we're also still avoiding GMO's and food coloring and we're still buying organic.)

But we're rolling with the rest.

Because we don't have any health struggles to heal anymore. We're well. Whole. Healthy.

And we're paying attention to how our bodies feel based on the choices we make.

If 90% of our meals are bone-brothed and grain-free and grass-fed and real, the other 10% won't be our undoing.

It's about finding balance in our diet. Maybe for the first time in my adult life.

Oatmeal for breakfast? Go crazy!

A cookie from the coop? Tear it up.

Rice. With. Dinner? Sure. What the heck.

I'm done with feeling guilty when we "cheat". I'm ready to see food from a whole new perspective.

Because more than I want a black-and-white "perfect", healthy diet for my family, I want us all to have a healthy relationship with whatever is on our plate.

And the tone I set around food in the past few years made that a challenging prospect.

 

And with that? I'm off to make eggs and toast.

Yes.

Really.

With an actual slice of bread.

(Okay, it's gluten-free. But it's still bread.)

Somebody pinch me.

 

Love,
Rachel

 

Edited to add: Hey sweet friends. There are a couple of comments on this post that make me think I might have been unclear with my message. May I clarify?

No, we won't be giving up on healthy, organic, homemade food! Yes, we're still eating mainly grain-free, low-sugar, meat-and-veggies sort of meals. I'm simply talking about relaxing the rules a little here at home.

It's about believing that good, homemade food will nourish us. Period.

And that it's okay to bake cookies now and then without freaking about the sugar and the rice flour.

Because I had lots. Of. Rules. And sometimes that sucked the joy right out of our dinnertime.

So no, this isn't a falling-off-the-real-food-wagon moment. It's a finding the sweet spot in good food and letting go of some of the complex rules I've walled us in with.

Does this mean you should change how you eat? Of course not. No more than my homeschooling means I think you should pull your kids out of school.

I'm just sharing my shifting, evolving path with you. It's what I do here. I like to share the journey with you.

 

Hope that clarifies!

 

I just love it when a plan comes together

Most of my week is spent at home, doing the things I share with you here.

Homeschooling, hiking, taking care of kids and animals and farm projects - that sort of thing.

But as most of you also know, I spend a piece of every week working on or in my body care business, LüSa Organics. (Get it - "Clean"? Right. That.)

It's my secret identity. The business woman, disguised as an introverted homeschooling muck-boot-wearing mom blogger.

And while I don't bring a lot of my LüSa work life into this space, today I had to share. I just knew you'd appreciate my latest project.

Are you ready? Because it's fan-freaking-tastic.

(As far as screen printed mason jars go anyway.)

Three drinking jars, each one with a different uplifting message ("Be you bravely", "Follow your bliss ~ Joseph Campbell", and "Believe in goodness").

The little decorations that surround the text? Those are lupine flowers. Boom.

All that I really want to say is: I. Love. These. I love them.

I also love to think that the words on these jars will infuse every drink they hold with their magic.

I created the jars to be LüSa's first ever promotional item. (Because really, who needs another t-shirt with a logo on it?)

Free of nasty plastics and infinitely reusable they are - in my opinion - the best travel cup around.

I'll be offering them for sale on my website soon, but for now I'm just giving them away.

They jars are now for sale! You can buy yours right here, right now.

(Insert cheering!)

If you'd like one, all you have to do is place a retail order on my website before February 1 for $45 or more and add a comment of "mason jar" to your order during checkout. Then tell us which jar you'd like! (Be You, Bliss, or Goodness.)

The giveaway jars will ship with a stainless steel straw and BPA-free Tattler lid. (We'll offer them for sale with Cuppow lids later this month.)

Since not everyone has the means to place an order of that size, how about I give a jar away here, too? To enter just leave a comment on this post. I'll choose a winner (or two...) next week.

Comments are now closed! The winners are:

Fawn who said:

    Love 'em, hope I win :)

and Angie who said:

    These are so, so, soooo sweet. And I'm almost as excited to find stainless steel straws and BPA free lids!

Do you love them? I love them.

Love,
Rachel

P.S. Of course you can also make your own straw cup from a mason jar at home. My tutorial is here!

 

 

Getting out

I don't know about your family, but after a long spell of being under the weather, everyone around here starts to go a little completely stir crazy.

That extra-special bouncing off the walls and driving the grown-ups batty sort of crazy.

It's been like that over here, with us laid out for more than a week by this nonsense we call the flu.

And as Lupine sat at the table eating a snack late Saturday morning she mused aloud about one disappointment from this season.

"It's too bad we missed the winter festival because we were sick."

The winter festival! I hadn't given it a thought in weeks.

I ran to the computer and looked it up. Today! It was today!

In just shy of three minutes the kids and were bundled up and on the road, headed to the Kickapoo Valley Reserve for their annual community winter festival.

Pete, still sick, stayed home to rest and no doubt appreciate the rare and deep silence that came with our departure.

From sleigh rides to sledding and skating, from hanging out in the quinzhee to a delightful chance to visit with friends, it was just what we needed to kick this flu for good.

So. Good.

Because even this hermit needs to get out there and see her people now and then.

And somehow after being home - sick - with family for days on end, standing there in the snow watching our kids zip across the ice or down the hill while we chatted about knitting, homeschooling, goat diseases, and the like with friends was pure bliss.

That night the kids and I dragged ourselves up to bed, utterly exhausted.

Because better from the flu by a couple of days still isn't the health we're used to being.

We read stories and cuddled and I kissed them goodnight. As I left their room I glanced at my watch - 6:50.

And they were out.

Twelve hours later that were both still asleep.

And now? It's Monday. It's January 13 for goodness sake. (Where did this month go?)

I'm getting anxious to start our winter homeschooling season.

To find our rhythm again.

To hit our groove.

To clean some closets.

To be well and present and alive and loving life once more.

Oh, yeah. I might be half a month late for the party, but bring it on, January.

I think I'm (finally!) ready.

 

 

Rest

Yesterday the dishes were left in the sink.

 

Yesterday we rested.

 

Yesterday the work that did get done was shared by all.

 

Yesterday I made space to also care for me.

 

We made play dough. (Black was the runaway favorite, colored with a tablet of activated charcoal. And may I suggest mixing in glitter to any color? So. Fun.)

There was knitting. (This simple hat for Sage.)

There was even a movie for goodness sake. A rare and special treat for all.

 

And today?

More of the same is on our agenda.

Right through until Monday.

 

Wishing a wonderful weekend and good health to you all!

Thanks for all the kindness.

Love,
Rachel

 

 

Circling back to gratitude

Yesterday morning when I headed out for farm chores I still had a fever.

But Pete was more sick than me, so I was on.

As I moved my body down the driveway through the cold winter air toward the barn, I felt... not sick but thankful.

 

Thankful to be back on my feet.

Thankful for the feel of the cold air on my face.

Thankful for the animals I was eager to check on, feed, and water.

Thankful for my son, walking beside me to help out in the barn.

Thankful for my life.

 

The flu has a way or rearranging your priorities and your perspective.

And - for the moment - I let it all soak in.

I steeped in gratitude.

And we got to work.

 

The day was full.

Running between Pete and Lupine's respective sick-beds, tending our sick cat, caring for farm animals and other pets, cooking, laundry, dishes, and keeping our business afloat.

Sage was amazing and helped all day, but still. It was a lot.

As the day wore on I quickly wore out.

Still sick, I simply did too much and neglected to take care of myself.

I ran myself ragged and never paused to refill my own cup.

 

Why do we do this to ourselves? It's a maternal curse.

By the end of the day I was done.

Unraveling.

 

Disaster was eminent.

 

And of all the things to fall apart over, I chose pajamas.

I can't find my pajamas.

And I have the flu.

And I'm tired.

And I need to go to bed right this second.

 

Of course it wasn't about pajamas.

It was about fever. And exhaustion.

Mostly it was about needing help and needing rest.

But in the moment I mistook those things for missing pajamas.

 

And. I. Sobbed.

 

And then, something wonderful happened.

 

In an instant my family circled around me.

I was held in so much love and compassion and understanding that I could fold into the feelings and let it move through.

I could just cry. And be held.

 

They were there to hold me up while I fell apart.

 

There it was. The help I needed all along.

 

Miraculously, my fever broke.

I found some yoga pants and I crawled into bed.

I said goodnight to my family and closed my eyes.

 

As I lay in bed I circled back to gratitude.

To that glad and thankful heart I had just twelve hours before.

And I wondered if I could close the day by counting 100 blessings.

 

1. I began with my husband - loving, kind, funny, and caring.

2. I added my son - helpful, tender, sensitive, wise.

3. I added my daughter - giving, aware, nurturing, and loving.

And then... I stopped.

 

Sure, there were more.

But those three?

They felt like more than 100 blessings already.

And today?

Well, Lupine took this pic of me as I headed out for chores.

(They eyes are the giveaway. Still. Sick.)

But so much stronger than yesterday.

(In every way.)

 

And yes. Today I'm asking for help.

 

As Sage and I suited up for chores I asked Pete to cook breakfast.

He did.

And I'm about to read my kids a book and then knit.

 

And I'm deeply aware of the blessings I have to count this cold winter day.

 

See? I'm feeling better already.