In my heart I desire days that are free.
Free of worry and regret.
Free to wander.
Free to live full. Out loud. And real.
Real in their messes.
Real in their connection.
Real in the work and struggle and joy that is being alive.
In my heart I want to look back and see the shining faces of my children looking back at me,
smiling
from my memories.
Without regret.
Without clouds across their eyes because I can not remember.
Because I was not here.
In my heart I want so much to never again answer the question, "How are you?"
with the apologetic - or proud - reply of,
"Busy!"
But instead with the words
Happy
or
Thankful
or
Blessed.
In my heart I want to leave behind anxiety and worry.
I want to shake off fear.
Fear of getting it wrong.
Fear of judgement.
Fear of everything falling apart.
Fear of being seen with my dirty floors and piles of laundry.
And instead embrace this day.
This life.
This moment.
For all of its messes and imperfections.
In my heart I choose to put down the need to do it all.
I release myself from the pressure to get it right, because it's all right already.
In every sense.
In my heart I mindfully choose the path most joyful.
Because it leads to the life that I want.
Yes.
I choose joy.
And I am joy.
