Yesterday Pete and I woke up to realize that it was our 13th wedding anniversay.
Add to that the six-years that we lived together first (what we refer to as the "living-in-sin" period) and we're somehow at 19 years of togetherness.
I can't imagine how that math is right, but yet, it is.
So at the last minute we called in to work and decided to spend the day together at home and in the woods, hunting morels.
The four of us. Together.
And though the day was up-and-down like any day is (with children. or adults.), it was the prefect representation of what the past 19 years have been all about.
Reaching for understanding rather than trying to be right.
Keeping our sense of humor when everything is going haywire.
Cultivating patience and love and taking care of each other.
Getting out into the world and seeking beauty all around us.
And all the while one of the readings from our quiet wedding in the woods kept going through my head.
Because all these years later, this is still what it's all about.
The Art of a Good Marriage
by
Wilferd A. Peterson
Happiness in marriage
is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
: : :
Sending prayers and blessings to Oklahoma today. Holding you in love and light.
