Clean.

Simplicity Parenting Book Club, Chapter Six

Well that was an unprecedented pause from chapters. Hopefully everyone is caught up and plowing through the final pages of the book by know. It's been a great read, I must say.

Like other chapters in Simplicity Parenting, this one struck a nerve several times. This chapter, though, is less simple and concrete to apply to our day to day lives. At least the changes that I need to make. Filling a box with books and clothes and toys is one thing. But filtering out the adult world is woven with so much of our own inner work it seems like a big one to take on.

 Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne

Chapter Six: Filtering Out the Adult World

Chapter six was a broad, expansive one. From parental hovering and worry to television and media to sarcasm to too many words, there is lots to digest here.

For me, the screens, media, and news talk is easy. It is a non-issue around here. We don't do movies, television, radio, computers, or magazines for entertainment. We never have. You read that right. We don't do media. It is a slippery slope I never wanted to step onto so we haven't. 

Two experiences when Sage was under two shaped that decision. They are these:

1.  I was an NPR junkie for years before becoming a mother. I listened to it like you might listen to music. Constantly. And then one day when Sage was nearly two I turned on the radio and one horrible graphic sentence hung in the air. It was a war report from Iraq and I turned the radio on and off in one quick motion when I heard those words isolated from all the other talk. I was stunned. Horrified. What was I doing? My son was hearing this terrible information each and every day. And I knew that a one year old understood 90% of what he or she heard. That shook me. I haven't turned on NPR around my children in the seven years since.

2. The second shaping experience had happened a few months before. We had never done TV with or around Sage. We gave ut television a few years before so it was a non-issue.

Pete was leaving for a week away and I wondered how I would eat, bathe, or survive during his absence. A well-meaning and loving friend sent me some Baby Einstein videos to help me through the pinch of his absence. Baby videos were something I never would have bought myself and I was a secretly excited about the prospect of having them - like finding a tub of really sassy ice cream in your freezer after your friends visit. I wouldn't have brought it into my life, but let's not waste it. You get the idea.

I thought maybe I'd use them while Pete was gone, just once or twice during the week to get a shower in. But I wanted to see how Sage would handle them first. We dug out a DVD player we had and an ancient TV from the attic. We put the disc in. And an amazing/disturbing thing happened. Sage was first excited. He smiled and bounced to the music. He signed the animals he saw: dog, cat, rabbit. And then ever so slowly, the joy drained from his face and he sat staring, expressionless. He stopped dancing. He stopped signing. He zoned out. This took all of maybe 30 or 40 seconds, but that was all it took. I took out the disc, threw them back into the box and sent them away forever. I don't remember if I showered that week, but I wasn't willing to numb my boy on TV so I could wash up. He could shower with me. I could wash up at the sink. But that glazed eyed look on my baby was not worth it to me in any form.

Instead of Instead of screens or other media we read books. We play. We draw. We bike. We live our lives in other ways.

That being said, I am not the typical American mama. I think for most families limiting screens is a huge step towards more simple parenting. What about in your home?

 

There were indeed parts fo chapter six that spoke to me regarding areas where Pete and I could make great strides. We talk too much. (Way too much.) We worry too much. (Now and then.) We don't filter as well as we could. (Frequently.) There is always room for improvement and for us it is here. These are the places where we need to work on filtering out the adult world. We also run a home-based business and homeschool, so there isn't much time or space away from our children to carve out time to have adult conversation. We need to stay aware of what we say and when and make time happen apart from the kids.

I have long loved the very Waldorf approach of not complimenting or critiquing my children's experiences. I am not silent and nodding as they run to me to share something, but I have worked hard to quiet the compliments or value-laden statements that pour forth over each cartwheel and drawing. I want the experience to be the joy in itself - not my response to what they have done that feeds their souls. I lean towards, "Tell me about this picture." or "You have been drawing many different animals lately." Simple observations.

How do you do on filtering out the adult world? Share with us.

Simplicity Parenting Book Club, Chapter Five.

Just in time for summer vacation, I bring you Chapter Five: Schedules. I think the timing of this chapter couldn't be better. Summer is a shift in our lives, whether becuase school is our or simply because we are out (outside) more, gardening and exploring. And while the scheduled portion of our family's time looks much the same in summer as in winter, I believe we are the exception rather than the rule. Judging by the number of kids enrolled in sports and camps and summer school and other activities around here we are. What a perfect chapter to get centered and look at the coming season from a fresh perspective.

  
 Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne

Chapter Five: Schedules

I am surely not the best person to be hosting this part of the conversation. My children's schedule are likely among the most mellow in the state. We have a few activities scheduled throughout each week, and our time is marked by rhythm rather than activities, by self-directed learning rather than events or entertainment.

So yes, I found myself nodding a great deal during this chapter because it was in line with what we've already done. Some baffling statistics from this unschooling mama were regarding the amount of homework the average school child has today, and the loss of free time. Payne notes that in the 80's, when I was a kid, the average unschedule time during waking hours was 40%. Today it has shrunken to 25%. That doesn't leave much room for childhood.

Payne addresses the importance of boredom. I was tickled to read this bit, since I have advocated for bordeom in my own kids for some time. (See bullet four here.) In truth, Sage, now nearing nine gets it. "Oooh! I'm bored. That's good... I wonder what I'm going to think of to do. It's gonna be good!" Really. We've had this conversation again and again. And he's right. It is good. 

One piece I apprecaite the most was on balancing schedules. The "C"-calm days as a counterpoint to the "A"-active days. My highly-sensitive self insures this for my kids since we do everything together. We keep each day balanced, and each week balanced in the bigger picture. I need it, they need it, so we've unconsciously carved this balnce into our own rhythm.

Regarding the sports discussing, I found that whole section of the chapter bordering on disturbing. That children are "specializing" at a young age is downright creepy to me. Kids are here to play. For fun. Not to become a superstar. I was on the all-time losing softball team as a kid. And it was awesome. We never won a game. And we thought it was sort of funny. There were no shouting coaches or away games, no pressure to perform. Just some girls in blue and yellow t-shirts playing ball. While Lupine took ballet last season Sage has never been interested in sports of any kind, except those we play with friends in the backyard (normally involving some motorcycle helments and funny costumes). So again, we have dodged the scheduling bullet just by the natiure of our personalities.

What about you? Are your children scheduled into special activities throughout the year? How do you insure that their schedule is balanced and that they are feeding their souls with unscheduled free time?

Simplicity Parenting Book Club, Chapter Four.

Thank you all for the flexibility while I took two weeks to gear up for chapter four. It was bigger than I thought, and with spring bursting around here there were few spare moments for reading.

Like the previous chapters I feel like our family is on track and moving in the right direction in many ways. But there is still vast room for improvement. I hope I always feel that way. Valuing where we are and aspiring for an even better experience.

Let's dig in, shall we?

 Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne

Chapter Four: Rhythm

Rhythm is one area where my intentions are always, always better than my follow through. I have shared with you windows into our daily rhythm (like in this post an this one and this one), but I feel that often times our rhythm is abandoned from the moment we get out of bed. Each of us can so readily get into a groove and I have a hard time breaking that flow to go with what's written down in my binder. Do you feel like that?

I think it is magnified around here because, well, we unschool. (Or perhaps we unschool because we roll like that.) The lifestyle choices we've made are often about going with the flow and seeing where we end up. Maybe my expectations of rhythm too closely resemble a schedule and I simply need more space to flow within the bounds. If that is the case then I'd say we rock it now and then.

Indeed, the days when our rhythm is on feel seamless. We have more time for what matters. The dishes are done, the books are read and neatly put away, we've played and rested and connected. We have come together and moved apart again and again. My intention after reading chapter four is to revive my love of rhythm and re-create it for our family for the coming season.

Why Rhythm? Rhythm lets us relax into knowing just what comes next. No big surprises, just a gentle familiar flow. Rhythm brings security, peace, clarity, and ease in many ways. I appreciate Payne's comment that "The rhythms of family life provide consistency; the best ones also offer connection." Indeed, rhythm benefits children and adults alike. Payne says, "For parents, the advantages of rhythm are equally pronounced. Rhythm carves the necessary channels for discipline, making it more intrinsic than imposed. Where well-established rhythm exists there is much less parental verbiage, less effort, and fewer problems around transitions."

This has proven true time and again in my world. Think of the places that contain the most struggle within your family. Most likely it will be things where there is wiggle room/lack of rhythm. What about, oh, say seat-belts? Any drama there? Probably not because the rhythm is well established: "We don't start the car until you are buckled up." So there is no drama. But around dozens of other issues that are a bit more gray and a bit less rhythm and so the drama unfolds.

Payne urges us to build in pauses to connect. That act of being is so much more important than all of our busy doing. We must be available and quietly present to become trustworthy to our kids. I think of the Waldorf teacher, sitting quietly and doing handwork while the children play and work. Available, but without urgency.

Meals are a cornerstone of a regular, soothing rhythm. I recently shared our family's dinner routine with you in this post. I encourage you to read it if you have not already done so, or re-read it from your new Simplicity Parenting perspective. I suspect it will give you some great jumping off points for your own rituals. These rituals are a shining spot in our day.

Our experience since going on the GAPS diet has been transformational. While our diet was not standard American fare, we ate grains, some purchased chips and crackers, and the occasional sweet. Since cutting out these more complex (for lack of a better term) products our kids are bonkers for whole, simple, plain foods. Dinner tonight was some turkey, sunflower seed bread, cheese, salad, and a huge pan of asparagus, ramps, and peas. No leftovers. Simple delightful food.

Payne also encourages a regular meal rhythm (chicken on Monday, grill out on Tuesday...). I think this will be my first big shift to make from reading chapter four, aside from reviving my withering daily rhythm. A daily meal rhythm! I love it. We've done this before and cooking and eating was a snap. On GAPS it will be double easy as food prepares so very fast for us now.

Bedtime and stories was the final focus of Chapter four. I suspect bedtimes are sticky for many and I'm curious as to what you gleaned from Payne's discussion of this. His reflection that sleep deficets in youth made me reflect on just how hard we push and how fast we go in our society. Sage was an hour short on sleep yesterday and it showed - in his eyes, his mood, and his patience. We have the time and space to pause and center ourselves on days like this. I can't imagine what our family would feel like if everyone was short changed on sleep.

This post has gotten longer than I expected, so I'm pulling the plug! Your turn. What inspired you? What rubbed you the wrong way? What are you wondering or pondering? Bring it on.

Simplicity Parenting Book Club, Chapter Three.

This was really the chapter you all were waiting for, wasn't it? The Stuff. This is what brought most of us to this book I suspect. It is for me.

Pictured above is my latest clearing out from earlier this week. This one was a spontaneous put-the-kids-to-bed-late-because-I-just-can't-stop-cleaning-my-basement sort of purge. Toys. Clothes. Books. Furniture. Randomness. I filled bag after bag with no end in sight. And there is still more to do.

As I packed up these objects that no longer serve us I realize that much of what I read in this chapter applies to me as well as my children. That was a powerful take-home message for me during chapter three.

We have been striving in ernest to beat back the monster of Too Much for six months or more, since I shared this with you. Yes, we are winning. But there is much more to do. And there in lies my primary attraction to Simplicity Parenting: the concept of less things and more life. For us and for our kids.

So let's dig in with the chapter review, shall we? I expect the comments will be especially lively today so I'll try to keep it short.

 Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne

Chapter Three: Environment

Stuff: Books. Art supplies. Toys. Clothes. Gadgets. Jackets. Shoes. Magazines. Stuffed animals. In Chapter Thee Payne discusses both the quantity and in the case of books and toys the quality of the things we surround our children with. Payne asked us to be conscious of what we are really providing  our children. Our culture tends towards the following misguided choices for our kids:

• Far too many toys, books, clothes (too many choices)
• Too many gifts given to the child for any or no reason as a substitute for real connection
• Closed-ended toys that only do one thing, robbing your child of creativity to create on their own play experience
• Toys that are supposed to make your child "smarter, brighter, more... insert adjective here"- an erroneous concept from the start
• Toys that are pre-scripted through movies, television, and other media or commercialization
• Duplicates of toys, furthering the chaos and lessening the value of each possession
• Children's rooms that are a nucleus of chaos, an unhealthy place in which to live and grow

I found myself nodding my head and feeling affirmed in the vision I entered parenthood with. No commercial characters. No - or very little - plastic. No batteries. No closed-ended toys. Simple, simple, simple. And yet even my simple has gotten way out of hand.

Inspired by Simplicity Parenting we've been paring down. I shared Lupine's minimalistic room re-do with you last month and decided to take "Before" shots of Sage's room. Even in our less-is-more world we still move towards too much and towards chaos. (See above. I'll share the "After" shots with you soon.)

One of the most brilliant "a-ha!" moments I experienced in Chapter Three was regarding books. After reading it I recently downsized our children's book shelf area from a packed book shelf to one holding less than a dozen books. And it have been wonderful. I suspect books are an emotional touchstone for many of you. Payne argues that creating deep, emotional relationships with the books that we read is far more important than having access to dozens or hundreds of books. I've found this to be deeply true.

We've downsized toys and expanded the "Toy Library" in our basement to contain more than it had before while letting go any and all that we aren't emotionally invested in. We've let go of all clothes that we don't absolutely love. We've done away with any duplicates. (Three pairs of jeans for a girl who wears dresses every day, for example.)

That being said, we still have too much stuff. Too. Much. Stuff. We've been paring down for months and yet Lupine still has seven pairs of tights and five pairs of shoes. Really? Where did these come from? So every week we let a few more things go (or in the case of this week a few hundred) and make room to breathe.

 And so we forge ahead, one room (or closet, or shelf) at a time. We're simplifying the quantity and quality of toys in our lives. We make progress by putting away, giving away, or otherwise move along the bulk of our things. More great toys (or clothes, or books) does not equal more great experiences. The opposite it quite true.

I look forward to your reflection on how this chapter has effected you, your children, and your home. Are you transformed? Confused? Frustrated? I keep reminding myself that I brought it all in. Now I need to take it all out.

Peace,
Rachel

Imaginative Play, Natural Play.

This is a repost from 2009 that I think you will love. Enjoy!

Blessings,
Rachel

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

My aunt came for our family Christmas party when Sage was four. She gave him a Superman action figure with a plastic box that broke open when Superman threw it on the ground. A green plastic kryptonite chunk fell out of the middle upon impact. Sage opened the package and stared at the toy, turning it over in his hand.

"What is it?" he asked.

"What is it?!" she replied. "Its SUPERMAN! You take this thing and put it in his hands and push this button and he throws it and it breaks and..."

He stared at her. He wasn't trying to be rude. He just didn't get it.

My mom spoke up. "Sage doesn't know who Superman is. He lives in a land of gnomes and fairies."

"What do you mean he doesn't know who Superman is?!" she shouted. "Well its about time he learn!"

My mom was right. We do live in a land of gnomes and fairies. My children have grown up in a gentle world free of commercialism, marketing, and directed play. They play because it is fun and it feeds their souls, not to follow a preexisting script.

Our toys are mostly natural, made of materials that will return to the earth when their functional life is done. I like that. Wool, silk, cotton, and wood make up 90% of our playthings. And many of them have held the children's interest for years and will continue to do so far into the future.

High quality, open-ended toys can be expensive, yes. But the dollars spent on the farm animals above when Sage was two were dollars well spent by my estimation. So far they have enjoyed five years of play by Sage plus two years of play by Lupine - with no end in sight.

We've also scored plenty of second-hand treasures, both online (through Craigslist, Ebay, and barter groups) and at garage sales and have made many of our own using fabric, wood, and found objects. Even a simple basket of stones or acorns is a treasured toy - and is far more valuable (in play terms) than a box of plastic superheroes.

With no one else's stories to draw on our children are free to play out their own dramas. Sage can express his anger or fear through dragons and knights, while Lupine often makes sure no one is going to sleep alone in the farmhouse. (Babies and mamas must always stay together!)

Pete and I are conscious of staying out of their creative way while the children play. It is not our story that needs to be expressed, but theirs. So we strive to be present and playful but in a passive role, quietly allowing the children to take the lead.

Some of the children's favorite (open ended) toys include:

• Ostheimer wooden farm animals
• Conkers - baskets of acorns, chestnuts, stones and seashells
• Handmade (by me) dolls
• Wooden doll bed (second hand)
• Wooden playstands (handmade by Pete and I)
• Wooden cash register (second hand, amazingly)
• Playsilks (many hand dyed by us - my simple tutorial is here)

Simplicity Parenting Book Club, Chapter Two.

It has been over a week and the converastion of and surrounding Chapter One continues here on the blog and also over at our facebook group. How lovely! I am in awe of you all and what you are bringing to this conversation. I look forward to your reflections on our current chapter.

Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne

Chapter Two: Soul Fever

Do you take notice when your child is experiencing what Payne has named a "soul fever"? In contrast to a physical fever, a soul fever is emotional or spiritual in nature. Your child is not feeling like themselves and is acting out in their own (sassy? sad? angry? controlling?) way. A soul fever speaks of being overwhelmed and disconnected and begs for quieting down, being nurtured, and turning inward.

Simplicity Parenting urges us to focus on and honor our instincts. Just as our intuition guides us to the proper care of a child with a physical fever, our inner knowing also leads us to the path of care for a child with a soul fever. We are reminded during these times to be truly present with our children - not overwhelmed and overstimulated ourselves. We need to be attentive, present, and free of distraction. That sounds ideal for parenting under any circumstances.

Payne lays out a process to remedy a soul fever as this: 1) Recognize it. 2) Quiet down the child's life. 3) Seek connection. 4) Allow it to run its course.

Noticing

How to notice a soul fever? Your child's quirks become magnified. It is the exaggeration of their inner self, based on their unique personality. Some move towards isolation, others towards tantrum, anger, or controlling behavior. They become an out-of-balance caricature of themselves.

Quieting Things Down

Break your obligations. Stay home. Cancel your plans. Just as with a physical fever, Payne believes it is appropriate to essentially call in sick to your life's obligations to care for your child.

Bringing Them Close

I love what Payne laid out in this section. To me it is what we should be doing regularly as parents, but what many don't find or make the time to do. Connection. Quiet time. Listening. Payne also implores us to focus on our child's golden self, their "good" side. Should this not be what we do everyday? To imagine them as their highest self, their most kind, authentic, and radiant being? Of course. But I loved the reminder all the same, soul fever or not.

Payne talks about kids needing affection most when they "deserve it the least". Thought I believe that they always are in a place of deserving affection and connection, the point to me was that at the times when we're pushed to our breaking point by our kids behavior is when they are begging us for connection.

Running Its Course

It is not our job to fix what is not working. Our work is to create a nurturing and calm environment, connect with and unconditionally love our hurting child, and allow them to heal.

This chapter, to me, had two main cords: slowing down and connecting fully. The slowing down was the most applicable piece around here. Even my (simple, old-fashioned, handmade) life feels fast-forward sometimes. My mom was visiting this week and I realized last night as she and I relaxed on the couch that I had not sat on my couch since my birthday. Almost two weeks before. We are busy. Really busy. And all of that doing has a cost. For many weeks I have been feeling that doing less would be good for me, for Pete, and especially for our kids.

And as to connecting fully, much of what Payne discusses in this chapter rings true to my goal of a parenting path based on validation, connection, and kindness. We strive to practice non-violent parenting, meaning we don't punish our kids with time outs, jailed toys, or other loss of privileges for acting out. Our goal is to find the root of the behavior and work backwards from there to seek solution.

What about you? Do you have time to follow his advice when someone in your family is out of sorts? Or do you often find yourself addressing the behavior rather than the underlying cause? What stuck with you in Chapter two above all else? Share your thougths on soule fever.

Simplicity Parenting Book Club, Chapter One

Are you ready for our book club? The plan, my friends, is this: each week I will give a quick review of the current chapter, interjected or summarized with a bit of my own editorial thoughts.

Then I will turn off my computer and walk away for most or all of the day.

You read, you comment, you say your piece and ask your questions. Talk about your impression of the chapter and discuss with one another the meaning it had for you. Check back every so often. Maybe once a day or a few times a day (depending on your computer habits) and see what is happening in the comments. Chime in to the questions others pose or to the convertsation.

I will participate too, but this is your venue and I don't want to be the sole and dominant voice in this community we are creating here. Does it make sense? Great. Then let's get on with it!

Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne

Chapter One: Why Simplify?

Mr. Payne begins the book with is revelation that many children - leading "normal" western lives - are suffering similar disorders as children living in refugee camps in war-ravaged countries. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, though not commonly identified as such, is prevalent in our society as are other physical, emotional, and mental disorders because of the lifestyle choices we are making for our families. Payne discovered that through simplification - not medication - children experience a marked improvement in their mental and emotional health and move towards wholeness.

Payne encourages our starting point to be simply reconnecting with the visions and dreams we had for our families before our children were born. What did we imagine? That is to be our starting point. To begin to realign our family with the playful, relaxed, joyful vision that we can still recall from our daydreams before children arrived. He asks, "What do you need to move forward, in a way that reclaims your hopes and dreams for your family?" "The dreams," he says "are still very much alive..."

Payne makes the wise observation that children are "overloaded by more than just the physical things bulging out of their closets." Simplification ins for the environment, the family rhythm, the schedule and the intrusion of the adult worries and information. For some of us the stuff will be the easy part. He also also makes the distinction between what is important and what is doable as you determine your starting point towards simplicity.

Payne explores the chemicals at work in the brain and how simplicity gives the brain peace and creates a more fully functional and whole person again. He explains this as a powerful contributor to ADHD and several other (now common) disorders. He shares that by simplification alone (not medication or other intervention) caused a statistically significant number of children in one study (68%)to move from clinically dysfunctional to clinically functional. That is profound. Just by controlling the amount of activities, things, information, and screen-time in a child's life many found their way gracefully to a functional reality.

Payne also says, "...simplification is not just about taking things away. It is about making room, creating space in your life, your intentions, and your heart. With less physical and mental clutter your attention expands and your awareness deepens."

Much of what Payne discussed is not at first glance relevant to my life. Quite simply, we don't live like the average western family. We don't have mountains of toys or piles of books littering our floors or packing our playroom. Our toys are limited, well organized (on the good days anyway), quality playthings. Our schedule is relaxed and we spend far more time "being" than we spend "doing". Heck, we don't even go to school. We are quirky, yes, but we don't have ADHD or ODD or any other alphabet soup of modern childhood disorders. Indeed, we are pretty darn happy with where we stand in relation to what we dreamt our life would look like - we are living our truth on so many levels.

And yet... there is still the amazing amount of stuff I feel buried under. Clothes. Projects. Egg cartons. Coffee mugs. Yes, even toys. Bikes for god's sake. (We are four people. Will someone tell me why we have so darn many bikes?!)

The other day I had the revelation that I brought all of this stuff into my own life. I bought it or accepted it as a gift and I dragged it home and shoved it into my already full world. I own it, literally and figuratively. Time to pony up and clean the shit out. (Pardon me. I'm feeling fired up. And when I'm fired up I sometimes swear. There. Now you know.) I have a deep and concerning feeling of there being just too much - on every level - even for the calm and simple existence we have created here has got to go. I'm ready to move on.

What about you?

Based on the conversations happening on our Facebook page I suspect that many of you are running with the idea of less stuff. I know I am. But as we fill the boxes with unwanted things, what is inspiring you? Why are you here reading this book with us all? What are you seeking to gain? Or... what worries do you have? What feels too big to tackle in this moment? What changes to you imagine may be coming into your family because of the changes you make, inspired by your reading? 

Comment away. I look forward to reading your words.

Heading into the Weekend.

A quick post before I jump into an early start to the weekend:

Unplugging: Yesterday was amazing. Giving myself the space to be present with my kids, myself, and my home I found that time expanded. The floors were swept, the kids were content, the meals were on time, and I even worked on the book I am writing. I had more energy for the things that are important to me and felt a fullness beyond what I am accustom to. I set simple parameters and then honored them. Unplug. You won't regret it.

Simplicity Parenting: We will start discussing Chapter 1 of Simplicity Parenting here on the blog next week. If you haven't already, read through this chapter this weekend. (If you don't have your book know that you will surely catch up during the next couple of weeks.) If you would like to join us on Facebook there is a little discussion already beginning over here. The main discussion, however, will be hosted here on Clean.

Birthday: Sunday is my birthday. I just thought you'd want to know. :-) I'm in the finally days of 37. Wow. Okay, 38. Bring it on! I'm ready. I think this next year will be big.

LuSa Coupon Code: Enter "Happy Birthday" in the comments field of any LuSa Organics order placed this before the end of the weekend (before April 18) and I'll add something extra to your order at no charge. (In normal gift-giving fashion we'll select something for you.) Think of it as a reverse birthday present.

Have a wonderful weekend, all.

Sending love,
Rachel

Simplicity Parenting Book Club Update.

What can I say except WOW! We have 70 participants in our Simplicity Parenting Book Club signed up through my original post plus several others through various Facebook comments. I can hardly wait to start this conversation with you.

Already we've been inspired to simplify, continuing the downsizing we began last year. Last night I was up late, organizing and downsizing art supplies and toys. Even too many wonderful toys is overwhelming, so we're down to almost none in the playroom with a few stashed in the basement and closets. It feels so much more free in there.

To organize our craft supplies I re-purposed my grandmother's china cabinet for art supplies and I re-purposed our "homeschool chest" for our dishes. The switch worked well as there is now only one drawer for the kids to put things in in our homeschooling space. (Drawers are deadly around here as they are immediately crammed with who knows what and rendered useless until I clean them out.)

I can't wait to see what happens after we've read the book!

My book club question for you is: what is the best way to make this work?

One simple strategy is that I could write a weekly post (one for each chapter) after you all have your books. Then we could converse through comments. Or we could create a yahoo group, or something else. I am open to any and all ideas! Bring on your brilliance. We have participants from at least three continents. Such fun!

In addition, those of you who blog can share on your blogs to cast an ever broader net on the transformation that this conversation will create. I am working on a button you can put on your site to let your readers know that they, too, can join in the discussion.

If you are waiting for a book from the library please leave a comment as to when you expect it. I would like to start in the next couple of weeks but don't want to leave too many of you behind.

Blessings all,
Rachel

Simplicity Parenting Book Club.

 I get a lot of emails and comments from you saying that you come here for inspiration. And I'm glad for that. It feeds my soul and is much of why I come here day after day to talk with you. But you know, I am looking for inspiration too. I want a simple, clear, joy-filled life in which my children, my partner, my marriage, my community, our planet, and I will thrive. Where my home is calm and peaceful and a joyful physical manifestation of what I value. Where I can be not "good enough", but great. I am not interested in "good enough" anything. We all deserve better and better and better - our kids included. They will carry with them into their own adulthood that lessons that we teach by how we live and how we raise them. That, indeed, is the legacy of a parent.

Three times yesterday (and several times over the past few weeks) the book Simplicity Parenting, by Kim John Payne, has come up in conversation. Several good friends (one of whom lives what I would call a clear and simple life already) have seen their worlds transformed by reading this book. I interpreted yesterday's three references as a sign and decided to buy the book. And then I had a wonderful thought - do you want to read it with me?

What if we all picked up a copy of this book (through the library, our local book stores, or on-line) and week by week explored the concepts in it? If you are interested I'll invest some time figuring out the best way to open conversation through this blog and this book.

 

To give you a bit more information on the premise of Simplicity Parenting, it is focused on four realms:

Environment: De-cluttering too much stuff at home.

Rhythm: Increasing predictability by introducing rhythmic moments for connection and calm.

Scheduling: Soothing violent schedules brings moments for Being into all the Doing.

Unplugging: Reducing the influence of adult concerns, media and consumerism on children and families to increase resilience, social and emotional intelligence.

The ideas in here seem like that would transform many lives. Are you in? Leave a comment if you'd like to join me, and then take some time to find a copy of the book this weekend. We won't start for a while to give everyone time to find a copy. 

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!