Some days I just want to ignore my children and my responsibilities and knit all day long.
Some days I fantasize about not doing the wash and not cooking dinner and not homeschooling and just bundling up under a quilt and knitting all darn day. Selfishly. Alone.
"Maybe they have a project to do all day long that doesn't involve me! Maybe we can eat smoothies for breakfast, lunch and dinner! Maybe dirty socks are as warm as clean socks today."
Or, maybe not.
Sure, sometimes I really don't do the laundry and we do have smoothies for two meals in a row. But those days are rare and either glorious or uncomfortable, depending on why they've occurred.
Yesterday was the latter.
We got a slow start. I woke the kids an hour later than they normally rise on their own and we never really hit our groove. So I brought a simple knitting project to the homeschool table, kept lessons short, and we ate yogurt and quesadillas for lunch.Yes. I have days - as do you I suspect - where I just want to call it all off.
Somehow, even though coming home is always the sweetest part of going away, it's still sticky for us. Reintegration. Getting back into the groove of the day-to-day rhythm at home and the work of the life we have created.
We love our rhythm but once we've lost it, it can be tricky to pick up again.
Yesterday was our first day back on our (still new to us) homeschooling schedule and I'll go ahead and say it: we were bored. Bored and antsy. For whatever reason I didn't have it in me to load the watercolors into the picnic basket and head to the hills (so to speak).
We just sort of languished. Struggled. Suffered along through the day. With Sage bouncing off the walls and me gazing longingly at my knitting and Lupine wanting for things that weren't in the cards.
So we kept things short all day, and ended up in bed early. But even with calling off much of our day, none of us ever hit our groove. It was just mildly uncomfortable to be in our own skins right up until bedtime.
But just like I encourage boredom in my kids to help launch them into the next plateau of creativity, I guess sometimes I also need it myself. So there were no escape routes, no quick fixes. We just suffered through, searching for our collective groove.
Somehow I thought you might want to know. That it's not always glitter and sunbeams over here. We argue, we get bored and restless, we struggle. Because we are, after all, human. With better days and worse days.
I just wanted you to know.
And for the record, today feels better already. (Goodness, it's hard to type with my fingers crossed...)